Okay, so to make a long story short, I'm coming home. Had a little bit of a nervous breakdown that wasn't helped at all by finding out that one of my very good teacher friend's 10-year-old kids committed suicide last week... nor was it helped by a 9-year-old kid saying, "Make me, bitch," when I tried to have work-time. I'll be home on Sunday, morning or the afternoon depending on when I head out of here.

My intention is to go back in January, but my principal was quite reassuring that if I didn't want to come back, she wouldn't hold it against me at all. This was a collective decision by me and a council at school. I wasn't even the one who said I wanted to go home; but it was decided that that was the best decision. I actually received a lot of support from the staff at school regarding this, which was a pleasant surprise. After TFA I was basically expecting to be told to suck it up. But this was a group of adults with more than 100 years of experience between them and all of them told me that they wouldn't have been able to handle this place at 22.

***

I'm actually really excited about this novel. I even like a lot of the parts I already wrote; and even though it's incredibly raw, still, and the end needs to be gone over with a mallet or something... Basically, this makes up for the crappiness that has been this fall. I added to it with a crazy deadline, but ah well!

Also hoping to write up what the Night of Writing Dangerously was like, because it was RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING.

Um... other news... basically I can't wait to come back home in three weeks, and today I was literally told by my principal that I need to take care of myself first and that she won't hold it against me at all if I leave. o.O So yeah... she was really the only one I was worried about disappointing.

To TFA, most of time, I just feel like saying "suck it" and forgetting about even trying to come back next year.

I don't think I'll really know 'til May.

*goes back to the NaNo Happy Dance*

A few nights ago, I was almost asleep... when I began laughing uproariously.

( Cut for personal reflection. )

For those who are costume-ly inclined:

I made a bustle skirt a while ago... but I want to shape the wire to make it less... uh, flat, across the back. How do you shape hoop wire? I've tried looking on the internet and it isn't very helpful...

Also, I'm starting to make my basque vest, in my very lovely olive-y green velvet, so I'm excited about that.

I do so love to costume...

...um, my MacBook is starting to run REALLY slow. It's kinda stupid. Especially in that I can't switch between screens (you know, like when you can press "command-arrow" to make it go to a different one?) and the program in the new screen is all screwed up or seems to be missing pieces. Does anyone have any suggestions?

In other news:

Finding a dentist is IMPOSSIBLE.

That is all.

NOTICE: I shall be in CA from Friday night, September 4th, 'til Monday morning, September 7th.

Any who wish to be involved in said visit should let me know, 'cause unless I make some kind of plan, there's no way I'm gonna get to see all the people I wanna see. :D I want to see everyone!! I miss my friends!

Speaking of which... *points to icon* IT OWNS ME AND I CAN'T STOP IT. Ah fandom...

***

So, living on the Zuni Reservation, in New Mexico. Fourth week of school. Am the Reading teacher for 3rd grade. (This means the little one's literary development is in the hands of the English major, mwahahahaaa....) In many ways this is great because planning is limited to what to do for Langauage Arts, rather than what to do with a room full of nine-year-olds who need to know ALL the subjects... In many ways this is frustrating because while my lesson by the 3rd time through goes smoothly, I realize that the beginning of the day could have gone SO much better. I suppose this is the curse of being a first-year teacher.

My colleagues... (psssh, colleagues... it's so freaking WEIRD to be an actual grown-up with a job and colleagues and professional development and rent and cooking....) Anyway, they pretty much rock. They have offered all the help I could want and then some.

My kids... Um, well they're getting there. XD Really, they are smart, and it's clear that they are going to learn a lot, and that I'm going to get quite attached... but they are so friggin' HYPER. I can't get them to stop with the rolling around of large erasers that make way too much noise, with the fiddling around with NOTHING in the desks, with the humming for NO REASON. OH MY GOD. I know that it's still the beginning of the year, and that they're testing me (because even the kindergartners on the other side of the school seem to know that I'm "the new teacher"...), and that they're 9 for crying out loud... but still.

Quote of the Week from last week (in which there was an incident with someone doing an obscene hand gesture--not the finger--and calling someone else "pussy"): "If this doesn't get better soon I think we're going to have a collective aneurysm."

Yeah... I'm trying to think of any other updates I can offer, but really, my life has been nothing but work for the past two and a half months. XD Not complaining, mind, because I really am learning a lot--plus I get to be helping the children. Even if I feel like strangling them half the time.

Please to be visiting HERE

...in order to see epic pictures of ComicCon.

***

And in other (less fandom-ly) spheres, I am almost ready to start in my classroom! We had some introduction to the district on Friday, in which I got my district badge. I will be setting up my classroom next week!

Also, I got switched from 4th grade to 3rd grade. So, slightly younger, slightly more what I got used to teaching my crazy 1st graders during Institute this summer. XD

This is my baby brother. He is a psychopath.

And when I get home next week I'm probably going to go join him in doing this same thing..... XD

***

Anyway, Institute is done!! Yahoo!!! :D (Who says cheesy things like that unless they're actually really happy....?) Unlike what some people have been saying, it was (surprisingly) NOT the worst 5 weeks of my life. Yeah, the constant brainwashing suggestions of TFA were a little difficult to manage, and the schedule was obnoxious and left VERY little room for flexibility or, you know, stopping and smelling the roses, but I feel like I have learned SO much these past few weeks, it was all worth it.

And I'm actually going to miss my CMA, Kate, and my Co-Lab. They were AMAZING to work with and even though none of them were New Mexicorps and I'm gonna miss them like crazy, I know they're gonna do great things with their kids in New Orleans and southern Louisiana.

View some pictures of our last day here:

Featuring my 'teacher friends' and the kidlets of my first class.

Now I'm back in lovely Gallup! Resting tonight, then seeing HP tomorrow, 'cause I don't have to actually be at TFA stuff until Monday morning. Then I get to look at teacherages!!!

***
The second lunar eclipse of 2009 takes place on July 7, signaling the beginning of a dramatic eclipse period. A solar eclipse occurs on July 21 and then another lunar eclipse happens on August 5. A lunar eclipse always occurs during a full Moon, when the Earth comes between the Sun and the Moon, casting its shadow on the Moon. Eclipses also come in pairs.

We tend to be more emotionally expressive during a full Moon, and this time around, that bright orb in the night sky is no exception! This won’t be a boring month and you'll want to keep your eyes and ears open so that you can take full advantage of the opportunities and avoid the pitfalls. This is a time to stand back and assess your goals. Your career/work life gets a lot of attention now, and with Saturn making a helpful aspect, you just may get the support you've been hoping for! The Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in Aquarius, which will be exact on July 10, boosts your optimism. While the eclipse in practical Capricorn keeps your feet on the ground, this idealistic duo reminds you to dream big!
***

Yeah... even the thing about the optimism. Two weeks ago was definitely the low point for me, but last week, even though the sleep deprivation had definitely started to hit, I was feeling more positive in general. Veeeery interesting, stars... *wonders about all the eclipses*

***

And on another note: JUST ONE MORE LESSON PLAN TO WRITE FOR ALL OF INSTITUTE!!! MWEHEHEHE.

s13.photobucket.com/albums/a273/SailorZelda/Grand%20Canyon/

Behold the Grand Canyon! :D

***

In other news, yesterday when we got home from school, it was about 2pm. I did some things and ended up laying down on my bed--which according to all the TFA vets is a Bad Idea; "When you get home... whatever you do, DON'T sit on your bed! You'll end up sleeping until the morrow!" Well, I took a nap from about 5 'til 8 or so--at which point my roommate walked in the room and after exclaiming that I was indeed awake, asked if I wanted to go to the movies.

Well, we ended not eating dinner and just going to see Bruno--FUNNY as hell and yet almost as equally disconcerting.

Today, I laid in bed and watched anime. It was fabulous. It didn't require movement or thought!!!! :D

And now, ice cream.

So it's barely six o'clock, I'm sitting at dinner (because I eat breakfast at 6:20am and so I'm STARVING by 5pm...) and I'm so exhausted I think I'm a little bit delirious....

But yesterday evening, I turned around and realized something: I missed my kids.

Today, I had morning duty in the cafeteria, to make sure the kids don't kill each other at breakfast (or, you know, push each other's faces into their mac n' cheese, which has actually been an issue...). Angelique sidled up to me all quiet and unobtrusive and just cuddled into my side. And then when I came into the room before my teaching block, Sirena says, "You look beautiful, Ms. Orwoll!" and Stephanie came up and basically glomped me. I had to turn around for a second to stop myself from grinning stupidly and crying.

I come into that classroom, when it's my turn to teach my block, all pumped and energized--no matter how tired I was even four minutes beforehand. I actually look forward to learning all these crazy things we're learning; I've started to get a hold on what planning a lesson really looks like; and our New Mexicorps is pretty much the most awesome thing ever. (New, New Mex, New Mexico's the bestico! ...That's totally our corps cheer btw. XD)

And then, when I was helping one of the girls who is usually so on top of everything, and who had answered these exact same questions on the board, with a worksheet she was convinced she "didn't understand"... somehow I dug up endless reservoirs of patience, and my tone didn't even change at all (which I KNOW isn't typical for me), even when I had to explain it about seven times. I was just excited when she finally got it.

I'm actually really happy. I don't think I've ever been this satisfied and happy before. And that's how I know this is where I'm supposed to be right now. This really is quite a grand adventure.

Awww, check out some of the photos that were taken at New Mexico Induction for TFA! :D

s13.photobucket.com/albums/a273/SailorZelda/TFA/

More (of my own, as I stole these ones...) will be added later.

***

So, first day of Institute was yesterday--LOOOOOTS of information, and lots of sitting around trying to absorb it all. But tomorrow we finally get to meet our kidlets! At least the ones we'll be dealing with for the next month. And then we'll have to leave them to go back to New Mexico and start teaching our own classroom... which will undoubtedly be sad because this summer I am teaching first grade, and I know I will get attached...

OMG SOOOOOO much to talk about.... but I wanna go to bed soon since this is a busy week and today was tiring as all get out. XD

Bullet points!

- Self graduated from Whittier College, summa cum laude

- Self went to Mexico with BFF Alicia and self's grandparents. The pictures for which can be found here.

- Self, with the help of the parental units, dragged self and self's stuff all the way out to Gallup, New Mexico, where she has been preparing for her two year commitment with TFA.

- Self was hired to teach on the Zuni Reservation! :D

So, yeah, a pretty cool past month or so. There will be more details, but as I said, sleep is needed.

I don't even know the proper gesture to convey to you the fact that I'm graduating from college tomorrow.

Therefore: *flails*

***

But why do I have this weird tangly feeling? Maybe it's stress from finally being done and having to move soon and packing for war on top of it all? POTRERO WAR, btw, is going to win, and I think that shall allow me time to relax and chill and celebrate! I just feel weird right now, I guess...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

All I can say is :D

***

A quick sojourn and now back to finding quotes and references...

Eek... haalp!

So, I'm sewing a placket into this skirt. After sewing two of the front panels together and leaving 8 inches open at the top, the instructions read: "Form placket by turning open edge under 1/2 inch and topstitch down."

What does that mean...?

Yay learning....! ....? XD

***

Otherwise, I relaxed today after opting out of an AOKP event and then Faire today--and I think it did me a world of good, because for the first time in a long time I actually feel like I've got energy. Apparently alisnwonderland and I both got a bit of a tummy bug from eating cheeseburgers after Faire yesterday... and that plus exhaustion plus stress plus overheating equaled badness. Ah well, at least I get to go into this week feeling slightly more on top of things. :)

To my Pagan-inclined and even not Pagan-inclined friends:

"The importance of the Goddess symbol for women cannot be overstressed. The image of the Goddess inspires women to see ourselves as divine, our bodies as sacred, the changing phases of our lives as holy, our aggression as healthy, our anger as purifying, and our power to nurture and create, but also to limit and destroy when necessary... We can move beyond narrow, constricting roles and become whole."

Thank you, Starhawk. (Has anyone else read The Spiral Dance? In my Religion, Magic and Witchcraft class, in the anthropology department, that I'm taking right now mentioned this in one of the books we read, so I decided to see if our library had it--and they did! I'm on a reading-what-I-want-to kick this Spring Break, and I feel that I'm getting to recharge in a way... Now I've got a list of about ten billion feminist/spirituality/Goddess related books on my list, not to mention the tons that I own that I haven't read yet. XD)

***

( As this relates to me... )

Your results:
You are Chekov

Chekov 55% Uhura 50% Geordi LaForge 50% Deanna Troi 50% Will Riker 45% Worf 45% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 45% James T. Kirk (Captain) 40% Spock 40% Beverly Crusher 35% Jean-Luc Picard 30% Mr. Scott 25% Data 24% Mr. Sulu 20% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 15%

Brash, rash and hasty, but everyone loves you.

Hey all,

So, my phone (the old one) was destroyed, and I got a new one. Unfortunately, 'cause it was destroyed, that means the address book was lost. And 'cause I'm a child of technology, I don't have anyone's number.

If you want me to have your number (regardless of whether you think I have it or not, 'cause chances are I don't), will you e-mail it to me, or text me, or something?

Thanks! :)

Er.... my phone is not working. No, it's not out of batteries, but it's just flashing a blank screen at me, not doing anything. If you try to call me, I'm not ignoring you!